Same As Mine

I was painting in my studio a bit ago when I heard my daughter - now a whopping 7 months old! - crying so I went to comfort her. I picked her up out of her crib, and she immediately wrapped an arm around my shoulder and laid her little head on my chest.

It made me think of how different my relationship with her is than the one I share with my son.

Perhaps it is because Liam is so much like me. Liam is a part of me, a piece ripped out of my heart, born of strife and adoration. My relationship with him feels like a necessity, like there was never a choice. Even though I never wanted a son, and I would have stopped at one kid had my first been a girl, he still would have been an integral part of my life. Our relationship is symbiotic, like lichen growing on a rock. He is so much like me, both in temperament and looks.

Maybe it's because she is so unlike me, but I feel like Cambria chose me, as opposed to having always been a part of me to begin with. She chose to be mine and she continues to choose me, every time she reaches to hold my hand, nuzzle my cheek with her nose (something she does to express her love; she does this to very few people), or smile at me until her big round eyes get squinty. In that moment I know she is truly mine, all mine, because those eyes are the same as mine.