We have been married for almost 2 years and four months now. It feels like much longer than that.
Which is odd because we were not one of those couples who dated for five years, celebrated many anniversaries, family reunions, birthdays, traveled together, or experienced much of anything to together before we were married.
Our relationship was a force of nature and we let it sweep us where it may.
There is a lot of back story to us that I won't bore you with. Suffice it to say: we met in january 2010, we became friends in April 2010, started dating in May 2010, and were married in December 2010. We got pregnant with Liam in july 2011.
Our relationship began with us being apart - I spent the summer traveling and studying in Germany (with my ex, no less) and missing Patrick fiercely, while he remained in Oklahoma. When I got back, I was homeless (due to a lease snafu) for about a month and let me squat in his tiny apartment. The man owned no furniture. All he had was a plastic set of drawers and an air mattress on the floor. He didn't even have a door on his bathroom. Talk about intimacy. He had video games and stacks of paper and books everywhere and his clothes were folded and stacked on a window seat. For a neat freak like me it should have been a nightmare but I was with Patrick and that was all that really mattered. What followed was camping trips, volunteer events, releasing wildlife together (I worked at a wildlife rehab center) watching countless seasons of Gilmore Girls and Buffy and Angel and Family Guy together, adopting our dog, Marla, and many trips to the dog park. Then, a whirlwind wedding after a single month of engagement (what a nightmare).Six months after we married we honeymooned in our tent in Branson (for those of you who don't know, Branson is the Las Vegas for old people and one of my favorite places in the world). And one month after that we had a positive pregnancy test.
Liam definitely changed the dynamic of our family, especially since Patrick and I had yet to really grow together. First, Liam tore us apart. Patrick was still in many ways a child and definitely not the man or the leader of our family that I needed him to be. For months I battled with post partum depression and all I really wanted was to leave Patrick, but I didn't have the financial means to support Liam, and I couldn't face the ridicule of a failed marriage.
I felt so jaded and cheated. I felt like the only basis for our relationship - our physical attraction for one another - had been torn apart and we were suddenly left with nothing. We had very little in common, I thought. He is an engineer and a pilot in the Navy. I am the tattooed girl with the labret piercing with a biology degree who wants to save the environment. He doesn't believe anything is wrong with how we treat the environment. (Or, at least, that's how he acts. I am still not sure about what he truly feels.How's that for communication skills?)
I think the initial physical appeal you feel in a new relationship always evens out. That doesn't mean you don't feel attracted to that person anymore. It simply means you don't need to jump their bones every chance you get anymore. Most people have some basis for their relationship other than that. Patrick and I had very little to hold us together, it seemed, from my point of view. Don't get me wrong - we had fun together, and he was my best friend. But that does not a happy marriage make.
After he tore us apart, Liam stitched us back together. Liam has forced us to get creative, both in terms of dates (tent forts on the living room floor) and baby-friendly activities (lots of hiking, beach time, rolling around on the floor in a heap, etc). We have learned so much about each other thanks to Liam. We have learned to respect each other needs. Learned to compensate for the others weaknesses and rely on their strength. We have learned to make a big deal out of little accomplishments and to view even the smallest outing as a huge adventure.
I love that Patrick is Liam's father and his daddy and I wouldn't trade this for the world.
I love that he is my accomplice in this life, through thick and thin. No matter how it started, I know our relationship will never end.
