Raising a Boy to be a Good Man

When I first found out I was having a boy, I was heartbroken. Gender disappointment is a real thing, not a vain, heartless concern of the mother. You can read about it here. Those who feel it, feel it for different reasons. For me, I only wanted one child, and I wanted a girl. Probably to work out some mommy issues. Not to mention the fact that having a boy simply terrified me. Let's just say, I have some daddy issues too.

Sometimes, I am still scared of raising a boy to be a good man. I don't want to coddle him too much. It's easy for mothers to do. We love our little boys and want to spoil them, in a different way than moms love their daughters. I want to raise Liam to be strong. Independent. Courageous. Reliable. Strong. Opinionated. 

But, I also want to raise him to understand that women are these things too, and they deserve respect and good treatment. I want him to know that, even if his significant other hasn't been viewed to think of herself or sex this way, that intercourse is more than just that, more than just pleasure, more than just what two people do because they love each other.

I want to teach him to hold doors open for women, to bring them flowers just because, to pick his dirty clothes off the floor and to help make the bed and do the dishes. I want to teach him good personal hygiene, and to be kind. 

Am I being idealistic? I don't think it's wrong to teach my son that, in a man's world, women hold their own place too, and he has a responsibility to see to it that sisters, mothers, friends and wives are treated the way they want and deserve to be treated. 

I want to teach my son to be like his father.