First Art Booth

Last year I participated at the Great Cloth Diaper Change as a vendor, selling my hand stamped shirts. I also included a few art pieces at the booth. And in 2013 I participated in the La Leche Leagues Christmas Market, selling a variety of handmade items. Last Saturday was my first time at a craft fair selling nothing but ART!

It was pretty exciting.

Above is a shot of my whole "booth". I took up a huge amount of space, and even needed a second table. I felt kind of bad about that, but hey, I needed it!! :)

Selling nothing but art was a unique experience (and struggle). First, setting up. I didn't have the option of hanging things, and I only had a few tables easels, so most things had to lay flat.

It wasn't the best way to display items, but I also feel like if I had used an easel for every piece, they would have blocked each other and reduced visibility over all. 

I had a few large pieces to display, pieces that I am immensely proud of but that are also pretty expensive, so no takers on those.

                                         

I've shared the horse, "Wild", before, but here is a new piece in the series. A 30x40 giraffe, titled "Steak and Cigars". (He is named after Burton Guster in "Psych" because of the way  Burton does that lip smacking thing; it totally remind me of the giraffes mouth!"

My other problem was the venue/event/ It really wasn't a good place for me. It was on base, so limited access to start with. Then, much as I love my military people, they aren't the kind of people who buy my kind of heart. So of the 20 or so people who came through, one made a purchase (one other purchased online). I guess 10% isn't that bad, but I definitely left feeling discouraged.

I've since connected with other artists and received very helpful advice on future shows. There WILL be future shows!

In other news, I created a huge amount of art for this show, so I have lots of new inventory to list. I plan on making a post about these pieces very soon and finally getting back to using etsy.

In the mean time, does anyone else have any tips and tricks on running a successful art both?

Blue October

I haven't been to a concert in five years, partly because my back is so bad I just can't stand through it, but also because of the kids. Leaving children at night is extra hard.

Blue October is one of my favorite bands. I have seen them twice before, and they always put on a great show. The last time I saw them, in 2010, was at an outdoor concert. When Justin sang the lyrics, "let the rain fall down", it started to rain. EPIC! I will never forget that. I'll be telling my grandkids about it some day.

They were in town last Wednesday and I just knew I had to see them. Problem is, I have very few friends, and the ones I do have couldn't come. I was going to go alone but then one of the moms in my moms group (who I've never even met!) decided to come. I was surprised by what a great time I had with someone I didn't even know. Because my husband was deployed (he actually came home that night around midnight), the kids needed to stay with the sitter, and it was only the third time I've ever left Cambria with a sitter, and the first time anyone but me put her to bed. Of course she slept GREAT!

The whole night caused me anxiety. I kept stressing over the fact that I would be going alone, thinking about all the money I'd be spending (tickets were $24, a small fortune (har har)), how the kids would do, how would the other girl and I find each other, would it be awkward, on and on. It irked me that I couldn't just enjoy the night and have a food time. I did, eventually, manage to let it all go and enjoy the show. But boy do I wish I was just a normal person who could go with the flow. 

The show left me very inspired. I've missed the high you get when you are with an energized group of people who are completely like minded - at least, in terms of the music. I missed feeling a good beat traveling up my legs through the floor, moving me to the core. I identify very heavily with Blue Octobers music, their powerful lyrics, and their energetic performances. They are really the only band I started listening to in my teenage years and still love just the same today. I created this piece the next day (link to the song below):

Lazy Begets Lazy

When Patrick deployed several weeks ago, I quickly fell into a nice routine. Every night after the kids go to bed, I spend 30 minutes to an hour doing chores. I keep the downstairs fairly spotless. The upstairs is another story. But I've been pretty proud of how I've kept up with things. I have a mixed drink every night, and enjoy the process. It helps me unwind; it's almost meditative. A clean house makes my soul feel clean and organized.

But then.

Then, I should have several hours of free time, time to pant! Instead, I spend every night "relaxing". Netflix on, phone in hand, sitting on the computer.

Every now and then, it's really nice to relax. It's a lovely treat. But, relaxing really isn't very relaxing. It almost feels...toxic. The less I paint, the less inspired I am, the worse I feel. So. Tonight? I am getting off my butt and getting my fingers messy with paint :)

Speak Love

Things have been really tough recently.

From the extreme sleep deprivation, to a deployed husband, to a house in desperate need of so many minor renovations that make it feel like a dump, to the unsatisfying nature of being a stay at home mom, to the crippling love a mother feels for her kids which makes her feel incapable of leaving them for a moment, to the one million projects that I need to work on to make me feel like I am still a person.

I've done a good job keeping up with the chores while Patrick is deployed, though I am always too tired to paint much, or to cook. Our diet has suffered immensely. Generally, we are on a grain free, sugar free, dairy free diet. I cook 95% from scratch. But since Patrick deployed, I've hardly cooked at all, and we've eaten whatever we want.

I've gone to 115 pounds in November to wearing maternity pants in March.

It feels BAD. It feels like failure.

I want this skinny me back. I want to be a good mom. I want to be inspired. I want to be balanced. 

It's easy to say "A messy home is a happy home", or whatever people who prioritize making memories tell themselves. Truth is, for many of us, a messy home is an unhappy home. Clutter makes many people, including me, feel more stressed, and stress means bad mothering, no painting, and bad dietary choices. And when I have those moments of bad mothering, when I don't paint for days on end, when I make dietary choices - I beat myself up for them. I say awful things to myself, about myself.

I noticed this recently, how I always talk to myself with such negativity.

My short comings are marked with a bright red marker; my good deeds gone unnoticed.

I've realized that even when I am stressed, when I am not being a top notch mother or cooking the best of the best of the best (sir!), it's still ok. Acknowledge it. Say good bye to it. Do better next time. Don't dwell on it, and for goodness sakes, compliment yourself every now and then!

(But, DO figure out this deployment thing. Because Patrick is going to be deploying every other month, roughly, and you can't be putting on 20 pounds every time he does. Now, stop talking to yourself and get back to work!)

I made this piece on my art tablet the other day, while the kids napped. Simple and quick, just telling myself what I needed to hear, and what I think a lot of people need to hear!

Owl Mine

A lovely little surprise was waiting for me in the mailbox today. My friend Tiffany sent me this card after I spent an evening whining to her about deployments and stay at home mothering.

Her words were exactly what I needed to hear (and she has excellent penmanship, too). What a sweet blessing. People really should send cards more often. Even if her words had fallen on deaf ears, the image on this card really resonated with me. She said that it reminded her of me. This is ironic because I am working on a very similar owl painting right now. This card was definitely meant for me :)

Thank you, Tiffers, for radically brightening my day!

New Avenues

Since I have taken so many classes with amazing instructors and artists recently, as well as discovered so many many other artists whose aesthetic is similar to mine, I've begun to really feel lost in my art. I have a hard time following prompts in my classes and even just finishing a painting. The only paintings that have really progressed to me liking are paintings that had zero influence from other artists. I guess that's part of finding your own voice as a budding artist, but it's definitely frustrating.

Doodle I did for A Year of Painting with Alena Hennessy using a resist technique

Learning about new techniques and products can be overwhelming. I've been feeling like someone who just discovered cake for the first time and wants to east ALL. THE. CAKE. And inevitably gets sick. It's been overwhelming but also joyful.

Recently I've become really interested in digital art - mainly pattern making, and scanning art to digitally manipulate it. When my husband had to get a tablet for work, I mentioned wanting an art tablet and he bought one for me on the spot, saying I needed it, need it to grow. The fact that he has such faith in my potential astounded me and overwhelmed me. I am not tech savvy. I sit her typing - heck, pecking - away at the keyboard with two fingers. So when I got home and couldn't even figure out how to install the dumb thing, I became really scared. I had this huge lump in my throat, couldn't sleep, and wouldn't touch the tablet for days.

Thank God for the internet though, because one thing I'm really good at is research, and so I watched and read a lot of tutorials.

I have A LOT left to learn, but in the mean time I am having an insane amount of fun on this tablet. (It is a wacom intuous, by the way.)

Above is my first finished "painting". I used stencils, paint, paint roller, collage paper, and even some hand drawing (the flowers were hand drawn - that was the hardest part. Drawing on a tablet while looking at the computer screen is a huge adjustment. I really think those flowers unite all the abstract elements of the painting, though. Love!)

It's exciting to see how many possibilities and options there are out there for growth as an artist. I haven't found my niche yet, but I know I will.

A Process

The past 5 months or so I have really focused on painting. I've never painted all that much, even though I was always involved in art in one way or another, because I found the medium too unforgiving. A year and a half ago, when I spiraled deep down into motherhood depression, art really saved me. But I wasn't really that good at it, and I didn't really further my skills at all. i painted what I was comfortable with, and if I tried to branch out and hit a wall, I let that wall knock me down.

Last August I took a leap and, with my husbands support, dropped a good chunk of change on an online course with Kelly Rae Roberts. After that, I discovered Alena Hennessy (who I am now taking a course with), and many other artists who have really inspired me. I began to paint intuitively.

30x40 custom piece I did for a customer

Even though the art I learned to create with KRR, and especially intuitive painting, didn't teach me technical skills, it did teach me something really important. 

11x14 custom piece

9x12 custom piece

Painting this way, so freely, taught me to be BRAVE.

It taught me that paint is in fact very forgiving. It taught me that you don't need to take college level courses to figure out how to hold a brush. It taught me that people like my art just as it is, and that if I never try to take it a step further, I'll never know if I can or not.

One day a few weeks ago I took a leap.

And I created this.

16x20 (SOLD)

And then THIS.

30x40, Not currently for sale

And I found that as long as I follow my urges bravely, they never really fail me. Even if the piece of art doesn't work out, there is so much learned in the process, it is always a WIN.

So I would encourage you, if there is something in you telling you to touch some paint, to dip a brush in joy and go to town, follow that urge. You never know what you might discover about yourself.